The year is a short one .

Its 31 Dec 2008 .

The Last Day of 2008 .

Its has been a fruitful year for me .

I have changed a lot thoughtout the year .

From a Hot-Tempered guy .

To a Guy that can control his own emotions .

From a Seniors that others dislike .

To a Seniors that others respect .

From a working buddy that others hate .

To a working buddy that others want .

I have also learnt a lot from a relationship .

How to give in ?

How to plan your life and future .

How to think effectively .

How to care and love someone .

How to guide someone along the way .

Not only that .

I found my passion and vision .

My goals were clear now .

Relationship really makes a person to learn and to change .

I have become a better person that before .

And I will sure keep up the standred .

In the year .

Many friends were made .

Many buddy and "sister " were made .

The bond between teacher and us grew closer .

The bond between my Councilors and SJAB-ians grew stronger .

Importantly .

I found someone I loved .

But ,

Founding is one things .

Whether or not it can be done .

Its remains a question mark .

Or .

I should say a full-stop .

I always like to say this sentence .

" People will only grow in Stress "

This is real .

I grew in Stress once .

I brokedown .

I cried .

Many things take place during growing .

I have overcome it .

Regret .

I have many this year .

I regret on things that I have not done .

Not .

Things that I have done .

Many learning take place outside the textbook zone .

A lot of knowledge you cannot learn in textbook or lessons .

You need to walk the path .

Along the path ,

there is milestone .

And setbacks .

Is either you overcome it or you give up .

For myself .

I did not choose to give up .

But .

I still failed to walk all the way .

But .

One take-away is .

I walked too much path in a short time .

And I have contented on what I have .

Relationship status is not important to me now .

It's has once be my motivations .

Now it is a want . Not a need anymore .

Studies .

I did not do well the year .

Next year I will strike the best .

I want it .

I work for it .

I want to make things happen .

I have allow a major thing to happen the year .

That cost me a lot .

My tears , blood , time and heart .

I am not going to let this happen again .

To end off .

2008 will be remembered !!

And I will cherish my past memories .

Next year 2009 will be better .

Health is the most important thing .

Is priceless .

So take good care of it .

Don't lose it .

And

4 more days when you turn 16 year old .

Cheer up .

xD

这几个星期。

每当夜深时，

独自一个人躺在床上 。

暗地里，

叹气。

因为，

没有:"阿刨"的日子.

真得很不习惯.

虽然我自经慢慢的适应没有她的日子.

但是,

还是会觉得少一些什么.

也许我已经知道原因.

我只是不能接受.

难道真的就是这样吗??

明天就是新的一年.

新的开始.

我真的能够重新开始吗?

我自己都不禁怀疑自己。

距离你的生日还有4天。

希望你都开心的过你即将到来的生日吧 ！！

Why do I always create changes in others life ?

Why is it becoming my Vision ?

I want people to change my life too .

I was changed the in past .

I enjoy it .

But ,

It ended fast .

I am sick of changing others life .

Yup . Indeed .

Serving is my Passion .

But .

I need somebody to serve me back .

I keep on giving .

I am lacking of things to give now .

I am empty .

Sometimes .

I recall back .

If you were still with me .

Will i be so tired now ?

Untill now ,

I know is a bit stupid .

But I still hope you can turn back .

I may not need you physically .

But I need you mentally .

I am drained .

I keep on using my brain .

To solve problem for others .

But when it comes to my problem .

I am a failure .

I have failed you and that why you leave me .

I really dont want to think so much .

Its killing me .

But I know I cannot stop it now .

It has been a habit since the day we met .

Maybe I am useless ?

So no point keeping me ?

I do not know .

I only know .

I am following my heart now .

Not my brain .

Brain Cells is dying fast .

Ever since you left .

I am empty ..

I am stupid .

I should have know that long ago .

Sometimes ,

Respect .
Is not a best solution .

It can turn things upside down .

I caused you so much pressure those days .

Now then I realize .

Retarded , right ??

I dont know whether is consider late .

To know that .

But ,

At least .

I know at the end .

Definition :

The Psychology is the study of how people think,

communicate,

behave and interact with others.

More about Psychology :

Psychology suits people of all personalities and interests.

Career of taking Psychology :
1 ) Human resource
2 ) Human & social services
3 ) Interactive digital media development

[ e.g. consultants for e-learning & digital games ]
4 ) Advertising & consumer research
5 ) Law enforcement

[ e.g. prison warden, police officer ]
6 ) Education

[ e.g. early childhood educators and enrichment specialists ]

Extacted from http://www-hss.tp.edu.sg/hss_home/hss_courses/hss_ft_courses/hss_courses_ps.htm

Damm !

Suffering from a BrainFreeze now .

Brain Juice Frozen .

Cannot think of anything .

Cramping in my brain that made me yell .

Use up of BrainPower .

Much BrainPower was used up recently .

** Emotionally Stress **

I felt the weakness in my brain .

Its so scary .

Orientations Coming up .

[ CCA / Sec 1 ]

I am drained .

I was a lot more stronger with you .

Compare to now .

I am unfix .

I am glad you are stable now .

At least .

Calm down already .

What can I say ??

: Take Care .

You need somemore to talk to .

Dont Forget .

I am there .

Always there .

Reserved ...

Hahas .

Its Veronica Birthday .

I shall sing her a birthday song .

" Happy Birthday to You .

Happy Birthday to You ..

Happy Birthday !!

Happy Birthday !!!

Happy Birthday to Youuuu ~~~~ "

Happy Birthday to Veronica .

You are 15 now .

Grow up liao lerhs . xD

* Sidetrack *

Change Blogskin .

New Song .

Different Thinking .

Deep one .

I felt the cramp in my Brain .

It's Killing me .

* Emotionally Stress *

You are the one that causes it .

I know you will hackcare now .

But .

I know that you know .

I am still there for you .

That is the facts .

It cannot be change .

Believe it .

Suit Yourself .

It's Christmas today .

I have a list of wishes for Santa .

I dont want any present from Santa .

My wishes - Grant it for me please ..

1) I want her to be happy always .

2) I don't want her to be down .

3) I want her to stay away from stress .

4) I want her to have faith in herself .

5) I want her to share problem with others .

6) I want her to stay away from negative thought .

7) I want her to go for a Full body health checkup .

8) I don't want to solve or counter problem by herself .

9) I want her to be healthy .

10) I want her to talk to me .

If you never walk that path .

I will be with you now enjoying christmas together .

I regreted .

I made promises for you today .

But ,

I cannot make it come true .

This year Christmas .

Will be a lonely one .

Without you .

Going for a Leadership Camp in School .

From ,

[ 22 Dec 2008 to 24 Dec 2008 ]

xD

Let me tell you .

You dont give a damm to yourself .

That one I cannot stop you .

But ,

The problem now is .

I give a damm to you .

Get it ?

Whether you like it or not .

I want to care .

Whether or not to turn back .

that one is not a problem now .

The problem now .

I WANT YOU TO BE ALRIGHT .

And that is my main concern .

Indeed .

I change .

To a better person .

So ?

That is your goal .

Not mine .

I haven accomplished my goal yet .

I did care for myself .

I am alright now .

All I want now is .

You are fine .

Both .

Emotionally and Physically .

I dont care if you are piss with me or not .

你为何要这样折磨自己！？

过去的就应该让他过去。

我知道我现在说什么你都不会听。

Relationship is not your dish .

你说过的， 难道你忘了吗？

可是，

你现在却为了一个抛弃你的人而感到 ，

痛苦不堪。

还打起了死亡的念头。

执著是没有结果的。

当初， 是他帮你走出来的。

可是，他并没有陪你走完。

他在半途就把你抛下。

我知道你很爱他。

可是，他已经走了。。

他再也不会回来了。

就像你一样。

走了。

再也不会回来了。。

不要为了一个不会珍惜你的人，

封闭自己.

爱一个人不只是要让他开心.

自己也必须要过得开心.

这才叫爱.

无私的爱.

醒醒吧 !!

不要再为了他,

浪费精神.

你还有很多朋友在你身边.

我相信,

她们比他更值得你的爱.

不要再封闭自己了!!

就算没病,都会闷出病的.

我说这些知是希望你不要再那么

绝望 , 消沉 .

Today was 冬至 .

Wake up early in the morning .

I was browsing her friends blog .

Viewing the picture they took .

Makes me think about the past again .

If I say I dont miss you .

That is a total lie .

Indeed .

My loss .

Typing this post was ,

11.11am .

You once said ,

when you saw 11.11 mean someone is miss-ing you .

Is it true now ?

I can only say :

Have faith in yourself .

You are not that type in natural .

Dont force yourself .

Think on the good side .

Dont push yourself to the limits .

Yes .

Indeed .

There is betrayers in this world .

So what are friends for ?

They are your anti-betrayer weapons sometimes .

Take Care .

Dont think too much .

Everybody has their on rights to speak .

No one is deserve to be silence .

You have to speak for yourself .

No need to ask ' So What ? "

Because .

I care .

I am alright now I guess .

Can't say completely .

But at least .

I slept well last night .

Ate well yesterday .

Thank you for those people that care about me .

I appreciate that .

All I need now is time .

I believe what can be heal has already be heal .

The rest I shall leave it to time .

But .

I will not go back to my old ways .

At least now ,

I am clear of my future .

To Miss Lim ,

Thank you for your time .

And ,

Care and concern .

I know is not easy for you to spare your time out from your work .

To talk to me .

Now .

I will only think back of those past .

Not crying anymore .

But .

To improve from there .

And ,

To reflect from there .

I have stop crying .

Not because I have given up .

I know now is not the time to brood about it .

Tell you somethings .

After all the things you have done to me .

Indeed .

You are heartless and cold-blooded .

But .

I did not Hate you .

I am sorry .

For some reasons .

I gave you some empty promise .

And after this relationship .

I regreted .

Things that I can get it in this relationship .

I cannot get it anymore again .

Because .

Its has ended .

There is certain take-away from this relationship .

I have become stronger after all those crying .

I knew how important friends were .

And one more thing .

Things are not meant for you . No point hold on to it .

Sometimes ,

If you let it go , you will feel sad .

But I believe the other party will be happy .

So why not ?

Let it go .

Tell you another thing ,

I am not angry .

Just abit sad and disappointed .

Trust me .

Maybe ,

I am still not good enough for you .

But .

No matter what .

I will not forget those days we spent together .

Those words you said , I will not forget .

I have given you empty promises not because I wanted to give .

Is just that time does not allow me to complete it .

I promise

. To bring you to Toa Payoh to see some old buildings .

. To allow you to try out all the fast food outlets in singapore .

. To celebrate Xmas with you .

. To take a ride at singapore flyer with you .

. To countdown to 2009 together .

. To study together everyday in school in 2009 .

I have some regrets .

After it has ended .

. No one will ever give a damm whether I burn my hand during work .

. I cannot hear you say : Zomo ? Chi Da Bian La ! Sai!

. I cannot call you Mrs Ang anymore .

. I cannot hear you calling me Mr Ang anymore .

. I cannot hug you or hold you hand tightly anymore .

. My arms and shoulders will be empty .

. I cannot care and take care of you anymore .

. I cannot say : Ice Cream Lies YoYo and Ice Cream Mugging YoYo anymore .

. I cannot look into your eyes anymore .

. I cannot cover you from danger anymore .

. I cannot walk the path to your house with you anymore .

I cannot anymore ....

Past . Let it pass .

I really don't bear to let it go .

But ,

I have to .

I think the days without me .

You will be happy .

Just keep it in your heart .

You may have returns my stuff and my love back to me .

But ,

My love will always be there .

Lead a happy life !

Don't be anti-social again .

Don't get so stress .

You have friends around you .

Always SHARE with them .

Once again ,

I thank you for your 29 days spented with me .

Its has been a fruitful month for me .

And .

Do take care of your own health .

休息是因为想走更长更远的路 。

Today is our 1 month .

I guess it is not important to you now .

I want to tell you ,

I cherish every single day that I spent with you .

Every hours with you is also important to me .

I do not understand why there is a quick change in you .

But somethings I do understand .

my feelings towards you have never change .

I know myself that I can't give what you want .

But ,

I can promise I will try . I will do my best .

Since you have given me a chance from the start .

Why not now ?

Things that you do not like .

I will avoid it .

So what you can't give me what I want .

I do not give a damm .

It is correct that if you dont polish your gemstone .

It will rust .

But ,

Even if you dont polish .

A gemstone is a gemstone .

You dont polish it then let it shine your day instead .

I do not know days with me .

Are you happy ?

But . I can comfirm .

I am . Even without extra things .

Even if I need to stress my brain to guess what are you thinking about .

I am still happy .

I am glad to have you .

Sometimes . Being with a person .

As long you are happy .The person with you will be happy too .

I really don't want to end it .

Don't worry .

I will take care of myself and study hard .

What I promise you , I will do it .

But ,

you said it once to me that you fear of empty promises .

But ,

why are you giving it to me .

I also fear of that .

I admit I am stress of a lots things .

With you , I am able to cope .

I know that day was a haywire .

Those promises we made .

I still keep it in my heart .

I really want to carry on .

Even you don't love me from the start .

Give me a chance to love you .

I don't wish to end it .

Like you say ,

at first you really did not expect you will end up with me .

See ?

things that you thought was impossible happened .

Why not now ?

I don't know why are you holding back .

I can tell you .

I am not going to hold back anymore .

So what you are going very far .

Even if I can't follow you ,

I am willing to support you .

Maybe ,

It is my mistake to think of so much things .

To have so much concern .

Give me a chance again ?

Anything is possible .

I am sorry if I hurt you yesterday .

I did not meant it .

I was having a moodswing I think .

My moodswing is different from others .

Mine was overloaded .

I was very frustrated yesterday .

My tone of talking did not seem well .

I am sorry .

I am fine now .

No more foolish thinking from me . I promise .

Everything seems calm to me now .

I am selfish yesterday .

I promise .

This will not happen again .

I swear .

I have lost the point of living .

I do not know why .

I hate the old me .

But ,

I am turning back .

I needed you the most now .

But I think I made you angry .

I needed care and concern from you .

But now .

I am alone .

I am flooded with tears as I type this post .

I am overloaded .

Sometimes .

I did not meant not to listen to you .

But ,

Sometimes .

I really can't do what you tell me .

If I really piss you off .

I am sorry .

I useless .

I do not know why .

My brain today is going haywire !!

I can solve simple stress normally .

But now ,

I am going CRAZY ..

Brain is not functioning in order ..

I want to CRY now ..

I want to smack myself ..

It's driving me

OVERLOADED BRAIN IS USELESS NOW ..

Brain is flooded with STRESS .

Project No : EMATH

Participant : Jeremy Ang

Target : B4

Goal : N'Level 2009
Chapters : Whole of secondary 3 and 4 EMath textbooks

Start : 101108

End : 010909

Secondary 3 Chapters :

- 1.1 : Positive Indices And Laws Of Indices

- 1.2 : Zero And Negative Integral Indices

- 1.3 : Fractional Indices

- 1.4 : Standard From

- 1.5 : Comparing Indices

- 2.1 : Factorisation Method

- 2.2 : Graphical Method

- 2.3 : Completing The Square Method
- 2.4 : Quadratic Formula

- 2.5 : Fractional Equations

- 2.6 : Problems Involving Quadratic Equations

- 3.1 : Basic Properties Of Inequalities

- 3.2 : Linear Inequalities In One Unknoewn

- 3.3 : Simultaneous Linear Inequalities

- 3.4 : Applications Of Linear Inequalities

- 4.1 : Congruent Triangles

- 4.2 : Similar Triangles

- 4.3 : Ratio Of Area Of Similar Plane Figures

- 4.4 : Ratio Of Volumes Of Similar Solids
Chapter 5 : Functions And Graphs

- 5.1 : Graphs Sketching Of Quadratic Functions

- 5.2 : Graphs Of Power functions

- 5.3 : Graphs Of Sums Of Power Functions

- 5.4 : Graphs Of Exponential Functions

- 5.5 : Gradients Of Curves

- 6.1 : Chords Of A Circle

- 6.2 : Angles In A Circle

- 6.3 : Angles In The Opposite Segments

- 6.4 : Tangents To A Circle
Chapter 7 : Trigonometry

- 7.1 : Trigonometric Ratios Of Acute Angles
- 7.2 : Trigonometric Ratios Of Obtuse Angles

- 7.3 : Formula For The Area Of A Triangle

- 7.4 : The Sine Rule

- 7.5 : The Cosine Rule

- 8.1 : Bearing Problems

- 8.2 : Angles Of Elevation And Depression

- 8.3 : Simple Three-Dimensional Problems

- 9.1 : Length Of A Line Segment

- 9.2 : Gradient Of A Straight Line

- 9.3 : Equation Of A Straight Line

- 10.1 : Arc Lengths

- 10.2 : Sector Areas And Segment Areas

- 10.3 : Radian Measure

- 10.4 : Formulae In Radian Measure

- 11.1 : Cumulative Frequency Diagrams

- 11.2 : Range , Quartiles , Interquartile Range And Percentiles

- 11.3 : Box-And-Whisker Plots

- 1.1 : Standard Deviation For Ungrouped Data

- 1.2 : Standard Deviation For Grouped Data

- 1.3 : Comparison Of Two Data Sets

- 2.1 : Probabilities Of simple Combined Events

- 2.2 : Mutually Exclusive Events

- 2.3 : Independent Events

- 2.4 : Further Probabilities

- 3.1 : Definition Of A Matrix

- 3.2 ; Addition And Subtraction Of Matrices

- 3.3 : Multiplication Of A Matrix By A Scalar

- 3.4 : Multiplication Of Matrices

- 4.1 : Introduction To Vectors

- 4.2 : Operations On Vectors

- 4.3 : Position Vectors

- 4.4 : Vectors On The Coordinate Plane

- 4.5 : Applications Of Vectors In Geometry

- 5.1 : Profit And Loss

- 5.2 : Simple Interest And Compound Interest

- 5.3 : Hire-Purchases

- 5.4 : Utility Bills

- 5.5 : Money Exchange

- 5.6 : Taxation

- 6.1 : Tables , Charts And Graphs

- 6.2 : Distance-time Graphs And Speed-time Graphs

Love ,

Is the cause of pain .

This sentence is true at times .

I can't deny it .

But .

Love ,

Is the cause of changes .

It can make a person change .

Sometimes ,

Mistake are made more than once .

This is where changes come in play .

Love ,

Can make a person knows his/hers mistake .

It is only up to that person ,

to make the changes .

Knowing is one thing , doing is another thing .

Love can make things happen .

But ,

It can also let things happen .

People tend to make things happen in the presence of Love .

Some let things go haywire .

Love ,

Is a both-sided thing .

To have ,

both parties .

To have ,

both views and opinions .

To have ,

Positive side and a Negative side .

To have ,

Input and a Output .

There is a saying :

" People will only start cherish things when its gone "

But ,

If you cherish it , will its last forever ??

This is the answer that I am searching for .

" In this world , nothing can last forever "

I agree to this statement .

But at the same time ,

" Anything is possible "

Both statements has its stands .

No one knows which statement to believe in .

To me ,

I believe .

The truth and facts .

One thing is for sure .

Everything in the world will be both sided .

其实 ，

男生吃女生的醋 .

并不是 ,

因为他们小气 .

其实是因为,

那男生非常在乎那个女生.

但是,

女生往往认为男生在发大男人脾气.

男生撒娇 ,

是因为想得到注意或者是想得到关怀.

其实,

男生撒娇是一种对女生的提醒.

因为,

可能那女生忽略了他.

很多事,

不是你想得到就能得到的.

有些,

需要看能不能办到.

有些则,

看双方打不答应.

女生有时应该主动.

因为,

如果女生主动,

男生会觉得被重视, 被宠 .

男生也应该被宠.

男生如果被女生宠,

他们回比女生被男生宠

还要来的开心. xD

I am feeling so bored now .. It is totally boredom to stay at home ,

Working at 5pm later , it is abit sad larhs .

I wanted to run away from home but not working .

I wanted more cash so I had to work .

damm it .

She went out with her sister .

Sad .

It's has been 2 day since we last met .

I am miss-ing her again .

In fact .

Long ago .

Later at night ,

I come back home from work .

Should be ,

around 11 plus .

I want to talk to her .

But , I think not for long .

Because of my stupid damm 12 am curfew .

Woke up at 11 plus today ,

saw Mrs Ang sms .

So sweet .

I like that .

I thinking of a solution to help her friend .

I really wanted to help .

but ,

still thinking of a solution .

I am sorry .

- For what I have done to you .

I should have more self-control .

I should not allow my desires to take over me .

I should have take charge of my own actions .

I shouldn't make you shy in the public .

I should have care for your feeling .

I should not be demanding so much from you .

I should have know what am I doing .

I should not force you to do things that you dislike .

I should have be more caring towards you .

Because of my silly mistake that made you unhappy .

Will you forgive me ??

From today onwards ,

I will have more self-control .

I will take charge of my actions and words .

I will not make you shy in public .

I will care for your feeling .

I will not be such a demanding person .

As long you like , I will allow you to do .

- I wanted to make you more happy .

One More thing ,

I hope .

You can

SHARE .

instead of ,

HIDE .

Because ,

when you HIDE ,

You will not be only the one that suffers .

I will suffer also .

So why not ?

You

SHARE .

I can help you

and

both parties

will be

HAPPY !! =D

I went to meet a friend that has been away from singapore for 1 year . Lee Jian De , Ivan . With my 6 other NCOs . He did not change much except he has grown taller and speak differently . I was late for the meeting .. Very late . [ almost 1 hour late , I guess ] xD hahas . They cheated my feeling =D . They wanted to go to sembawang beach but they went to causeway to have lunch first . I was waiting for Mrs Ang to come then I join them later . Mrs Ang was dress in red walkathom school tee with FBT . hahas . Went along to have lunch with them . I did not eat anything but drank a cup of milk tea . After that , we took MRT to sembawang station and took bus don't know what to sembawang beach . We no life larhs .. Walk here and there . Took some photo with JianDe . After that , they want to play bowling at yishun safra . Took cab there , ShiHui , Haziq , farah and nasirah took one . Alif , JianDe and Fauzi took one . Myself and Mrs Ang took one . My cab was the last ot reach because I wait for that stupid cab for damm long lorhs . Reach there , PLAY !! =D We played bowling . Sad . =( I was the last one . Score = 12 .. hahas . Maybe I am not good in that . Play bowling untill tired .. Then all of us no life . Walk here and there again liao ~ Finally , we down at the gaming center . hahahas . My NCOs were playing game there and shouting and yelling like nobody care . [ as if they own the shop ] wahaha =D . After that , No Life again . Wander there and here . We leave safra at around 5 plus , I think . Fauzi , JianDe and Alif wanted to have dinner at northpoint so they stayed back .. The rest of us went home . Took don't know what bus again to causeway point . All of us spilt there and took different buses home . I sent Mrs Ang home . And have a chat with her under her block then I leave . Bought newspaper for mum and took bus 912 home .

[ 16 days ]